apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
