if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
