I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
