You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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