smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
