none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
