i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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