It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
