I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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