i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
