I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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