You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
