Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
