lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
