Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
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