i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
