That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
