no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
