they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
porn star boner night. come get it.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
We are all done wearing pants today
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
