Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
