I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
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