you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
