How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
