Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
