you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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