I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
You made out with two different species that night
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
