he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
