its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
