Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
