This girl is more easily done than said...
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Randomize
