I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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