so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
