I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Randomize
