I should be sponsored by Trojan
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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