i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I have fence marks all over my body
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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