'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
