You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
