I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
