I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
