This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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