i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
