Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
