This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
