Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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