i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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