somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
