But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
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