Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Just pee around me
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
