can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
