He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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