Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
