I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
